August 12, 2008

I was right, chemotherapy sucks big time.

The first couple of days aren't too bad. I go in to the cancer hospital and basically relax. The nursing staff has to collect all the orders and then order the treatments from the pharmacy. Once those orders are transmitted, they start "pre-treating" me with steroids and fluids that protect my kidneys and bladder.

The unfortunate side effect of that is that once the chemo drugs arrive and they start those, my systems starts to back up with fluid a little. My ankles start to puff out and I start making lots of trips to the bathroom. About every 90 minutes or so, I pass about 400-500 cc of urine. That makes for a long night, every night.

Of course, the nursing staff has to check my vitals every 4 hours around the clock. During the day that's OK. At night, it seems to fall just after I've dosed off from a bathroom trip.

The entire infusion of chemo takes 4 days and then they make me wait another day while they continue steroids and protective fluids. It's on about the 3rd day that the side effects start to manifest themselves. One of the drugs causes some real issues with my brain function. I know that there are those of you that will say "so what's new?" I laugh with you. This is different. There is no real way to describe it. There is a certain separation from reality. Not detachment, because everything is still there, but it is a fog that settles over everything. My vision is affected in that everything takes on a shadowy appearance and is sometimes back-lit at the same time. This makes reading and using the computer a real challenge on the 3rd through 5th days. Once I come home, it continues for another few days. Today is the first that I feel like my brain is getting back to normal from these effects.

We were allowed to leave around 6:00 p.m. on Friday night. I arrived home and crawled into bed. Saturday, it took every ounce of energy to get up, shave and shower and then crawl into my recliner. I basically stayed there the entire time, except for continued trips to the bathroom. My ankles started to go down by Monday morning. Sunday wasn't much better. I stayed in bed until 2:00 p.m. and then moved to my recliner. No shave, no shower.

Nights are another challenge. The chemo effects on my brain mess with my ability to sleep. In the hospital, I have them give me Benadryl which seems to work pretty good. Once I get home, I usually continue for another couple of nights and struggle some and for a while it seems to be accumulative. Finally, last night was good. I slept through the night without Benadryl. Oh joy!

Also on Saturday, I needed to give myself some additional drug therapy. The hospital sent home two drugs that I needed to give myself. One for nausea that I gave through my central line directly into my blood stream, called Aloxi. The other, I have to inject just under the skin, kind of like a diabetic does with insulin. This one is called Neulasta and is some engineered drug that supports my immune system for the next few days to prevent infections since my immune system has been abused by the chemo. The interesting part is that last time I went through chemo and did this same the thing, the first one was billed at about $1,600 and the second at about $6,500. That is one whopping shot to give yourself and watch go into the skin as you contemplate the cost of it. I am thrilled to have it and to avoid the potential side effects without it.

Now to outlive the effects of the treatment and look forward to starting it all again on the 25th of August. Sometime in the next few days, my digestive system will get back to normal and I'll start enjoying food again. In the mean time, everything tastes like it is coated with plastic or like I have a rusty nail in my mouth.

I express to each and everyone the deepest love and appreciation for your kindness and well wishes. Some of you have sent e-mails in response to this blog, but when you don't include your e-mail address, I get the message, but no way to respond which I try to do always. So, please include your e-mail address so that I can keep in touch. Thanks to everyone. ONWARD!

Jim, Patti and Family